i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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