you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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