Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
