Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
