just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize