I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize