You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
