So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
