no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
