Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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