Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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