i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You are the jesus of drinking
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
