You're completely useless in the revolution.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
