wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
