Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
