haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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