she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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