wat bout pragnant strippers??
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
