i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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