even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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