i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
