By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
