Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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