I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
