dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
