Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
