dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
