Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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