erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
