Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She even gives head with a lisp.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
