Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
