nut hugger
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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