My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
