you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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