i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
