OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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