Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
