Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
