Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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