Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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