Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize