I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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