i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
