My nipple is on Facebook.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
