wake up i wanna do it froggy style
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
