Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
