he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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