shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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