I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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