you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
