i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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