Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
