You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
