How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
