so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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