is your mom at the bar?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize