is wine microwaveable?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
a search helicopter?!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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