a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
