I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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