All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
