I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
