Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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