honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
