I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
