? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
