remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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