Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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