Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
